Quotations in Television / Film Quotes: Seinfeld
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A pretty woman, you know, kinda short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan.
George Constanza, describing Elaine, in "The Movie"
A short guy with glasses, looked like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head.
The ticket lady, describing George, in "The Movie"
Because if I watch it at my apartment I feel like I'm not doing anything. If I watch it here, I'm out of the house; I'm doing something.
George Constanza, in "The Junior Mints"
Believe it or not, George isn't at home. Please leave a message...at the beep. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I beeee? Believe it or not, I'm not home-BEEP.
George Constanza
Body lotion! Jerry, body lotion!
George Constanza, George, excited about the hotel room, in "The Trip"
Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
Jerry Seinfeld, on Dating.
Hello, 911? How are ya.
Jerry Seinfeld, in "The Trip"
I hate rental cars. Nothing ever works: the window doesn't work, the radio doesn't work... and it smells like a cheap hooker.
Jerry Seinfeld, in "The Airport"
I must have iron-rich blood.
Jerry Seinfeld, after setting off the metal detector, in "The Trip"
I never met a man who knew so much about nothing.
Tia the model to Jerry, in "The Airport"
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